Life is absurd. We just write it down.
It started with a slightly scratchy throat at 9am. By noon you were canceling plans. By midnight you had WebMD open in four tabs and were seriously reconsidering your life choices. You're probably fine. Probably.
You had a craving. You had a perfectly good restaurant in mind. And then you opened Yelp, and forty-five minutes later you were reading a Reddit thread from 2018 about whether the new ownership had "ruined the vibe." The food was fine. It's always fine.
Nobody handed you a manual. Nobody sat you down on your first day and explained the sacred laws of the shared refrigerator. And yet somehow, violating them will absolutely end your career — or at least your relationship with Karen from Accounting.